John loved Michelle even though she was cold

Michelle liked John but thought him quite old.

Harold with a beard was just a little bit weird

And he pretended that he loved John

And so the story goes on.

Well it rambled along

Until one saturday night

When at eight twenty two

It kicked off in a fight.

John arrived home and could not believe what he saw

Harold was giving Michelle what for on the floor.

John cried out

Harold gave a shout.

But with a quick feint to his heart

John cut off Harolds male part

Michelle started screaming

John thought he was dreaming

And whacked poor Michelle on the back of the head

Michelle keeled over absolutely stone  dead.

So John sat down

And had black tea with a biscuit

Thought of calling the police

But decided not to risk it.

So he bundled the bodies

Into large plastic bags

Then went and got changed

Into some tattered old rags

He was pretending to be a dirty old tramp

As he took the dead bodies to a riverside ramp.

No body noticed him nobody see’d

That dirty old tramp who had committed this deed.

Into the Thames the bodies went splash

Then John went and got pissed

After using his card to get cash

Then he went back to the house

Which was as quiet as a mouse

And thought Oh Bloody Hell

I’ve just murdered Michelle

And realised with a start

That Harolds male part

Was stood on the chair

It shouldn’t be there.

So he called in his cat

And well I won’t tell you that

What transpired was nice

But suffice it to say

The cat didn’t need feeding

Till late the next day.


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